finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
