Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
