all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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