You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
