i just had sex bonerless
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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