but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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