You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize