but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
