yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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