Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
