Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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