Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Found your dick twin last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
