woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize