He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
