Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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