i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize