please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
