I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize