I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
