oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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