the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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