Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
