The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
