He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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