is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there is puke in my bra ... again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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