i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
