Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Drunk is a universal language darling
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
