He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
