Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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