Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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