if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize