it's too hot outside to masturbate.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we're making bets on your personal life
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
