Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
