And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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