Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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