Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
