soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
