I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this will be a night to untag.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
