You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
