I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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