i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
