If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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