i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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