I hate your face
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
