I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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