we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I die, sorry about rent.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
