I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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