no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
