in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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