No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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