Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
