Apparently you make a good broom.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
