they need to just BURY HIM!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
