it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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