he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
