Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
