Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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