Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
