I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
