bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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