shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
